Miracles.

(*Warning...long post...*)

We're having a baby!!!!!!!

(I'm due June 23rd!!!)

"When you are trying to become pregnant, and especially if you have suffered through the wrenching trials of infertility, somehow something as simple as that tiny rectangle on the end of a piece of plastic takes on all the promises of tomorrow's hopes and dreams."

-Kate Gosselin

We have struggled almost 9 years of infertility.  We were told that we had a better chance of winning the lottery 5 times before we'd ever get pregnant, so you can imagine how we felt that night as we waited for the results of yet another pregnancy test....  At this point in our lives I think we had both given up on the hope that I would ever get pregnant, but when I started to not feel good at night and just felt off I suggested to Cody that we take a test.  He immediately wanted to protect me and tried to convince me that I shouldn't get my hopes up...his exact words were "You know you're not pregnant!"  As good hubbys do, he went out and got me a test.  It was immediately positive and all we could do was look at each other in shock.  And as silly as we can be about these things we decided that we needed to go get another test to just make sure.  Well 4 more tests later...they were all positive!  We confirmed with my doctor and got to go to our first ultrasound in November (the above picture) and we will be going for another ultrasound at the end of the month.  

There have been so many feelings and emotions the past few months, but I must express my deepest feelings of gratitude to a loving Father in Heaven who knows me and loves me.  I feel so humbled to have seen many miracles in my life...through the adoption of Ryker and now the blessing of being pregnant.  It has been a complete surprise to us and we have had our fair share of tears...shock...and excitement...trust me.  I think we were in shock for weeks.  And we really feel that it couldn't have come at a better time...the timing is perfect.  We've sat here with our adoption application for months...wanting more children, but not feeling quite ready to fill out our initial application.  And what better reason that it didn't get completed.  Little did we know that there was another plan for us.

Even though I am now a mother, pregnancy has been something I've been really uncomfortable with.  It just tends to be a topic among married women, and not that I haven't been extremely happy for friends and family when they've been pregnant, but I've cried too many tears of sadness over our own infertility that it just makes it very sensitive.  It's been so hard for me to open up and share this exciting news...I almost feel like I'm exposing my deepest darkest fears to everyone...haha!!  I've thought about this post for weeks...when I would be ready to do it...and when I would be ready to start telling people.  I really love my blog and have loved getting to know so many of you through the blogging world....  So now it's out....

We're having a baby and we're sooooo excited :)

Kim....