Time To Get Back At It.

I've really been missing this little blog of mine.  It's been way too long since I've posted and I almost feel like I'm missing out on recording special little thoughts and memories that have been happening in my little families lives.

Instead of trying to "catch up" on all the things that have been happening here I'll just move forward and do my best at starting again.  Life is busy and never seems to slow down, so why spend time stressing over past events, but look ahead and capture the moments right now.

The boys are growing so quickly and life is never boring with them around.  Last month we did our yearly family photos with Talia Audenart Photography and I sadly have to admit that I still haven't been able to sit down and look through them all.  Every single photo I've seen though has been amazing and I am always so very very thankful that we take the time to do this.  This one is probably one of my very favorites so far as it completely captures our life at this stage.  With the boys constantly going and moving and just being boys...just being able to step back and watch as they interact with each other is priceless.  For me a perfect picture doesn't have to be the sit...look at the camera picture that we so often expect, but it's the real moments where we don't even notice the camera there that speak to me.  Those are the ones that I want to have big in my home to look at everyday.  Those are the ones I cherish.

This year, now that Ryker is almost 7....seriously...7!!!....how did that happen???!!!....he is becoming more independent and wanted to do his own hair for pictures.  I am learning to let go of control, which can be so hard to do sometimes and allowed this to happen since fighting over hair for pictures was not a battle I wanted to fight.  hehe.  I will forever look at these pictures and his hair and remember that moment in the bathroom watching him make his hair perfect and exactly how he wanted it.  Hair is such a big deal in this family with these two little boys...they are sooooo particular, that I have learned to let them decide when they are ready to make changes...at such a young age!!  Oh boy.

Ok...I'm really not trying to look back and talk about pictures...but I was trying to say that I am hoping to get going on our Christmas cards soon.  Because before we know it Christmas will be here and I'll be wanting to mail cards.  See how when I haven't been blogging for such a long time I become random with so many thoughts??!!

I am also very thankful for November.  It's National Adoption Awareness Month!!!  I love reflecting back on our journey to becoming a family and I love seeing the posters displayed around my city.  You may have never noticed them, but it was one of the things that brought us to our decision to adopt.  After praying to know what we should do and if adoption was right for us we saw a giant poster for National Adoption Month hanging from an overpass.  It was one of those moments where I was filled with the knowledge that we were supposed to move forward in that direction.  And now every year after, I smile whenever I see these signs.  We also LOVE our birth mom so very much and even though I think about her daily, in November I especially am reminded of what an amazing women she is.  As I think of all the blessings I've been given by the sacrifice this beautiful girl made so many years ago, I always feel like I need to express my love for her at this time of year.  7 years ago I was frantically getting ready for the birth of Ryker.  We knew we had been chosen as the adoptive family, we had met our birth mom, and we knew Ryker's due date was December.  I wanted everything to be ready when we brought him home...to have his room all finished...to have a car seat and all those other important things that we were doing secretly.  hehe.  I was also trying to finish all my Christmas shopping so that I didn't have to even think about it in December...all I wanted to focus on was Ryker.  This is such a special month.

Hopefully I will be back more often.  These gaps in posts are unacceptable!  haha!!  There is so much to share so hopefully I can get back on track.


K :)

Blog You Heart

I have actually sat here many times staring at a blank post not knowing what to really say.  Sometimes there just isn't anything exciting happening to share and then other times I am filled with emotion and can't seem to express my feelings.  This is one of those times.

Tomorrow we celebrate 'Birth Mother's Day!' which I love.  I love that tomorrow (and really not just tomorrow) I can remember our special birth mother and what she has done for me and the special role she plays in our lives.  It is because of her that 6 years ago I celebrated my first 'Mother's Day!'...after many painful mother's days of silently crying...wishing, hoping and praying that I would one day become a mother.  We love her and remember her everyday.  I've learned as an adoptive mom that love isn't measured by blood, but is free to take form in many different ways.  I don't love one child more than the other but love them each deeply for who they are and the miracle that they are in my life.  I believe that they were both meant to be my children and to come to our family and I was taught important lessons of faith, patience and understanding that truly has helped me to be a better mother.  There was never anything else I wanted to be.  From the time I was little I knew that I wanted to be a mother.  As I grew older and a little wiser I quickly learned that becoming a mother wasn't going to happen the way I had planned, but eventually it did happen and I am eternally greatful for this experience.

This week I have quietly watched my children.  Pondering on their little lives and how they are growing so quickly.  I have noticed how Maguire has changed into a little boy...the years of babies and diapers long gone and we have now fully jumped into the life of school aged children.  Maguire is my most imaginative child and has a strong personality that pushes me to my limits on most days.  He teaches me to look for the extraordinary in our everyday life...to always watch my actions and words...and to remember to not take life so serious.  I have noticed Ryker determined to do better and trying a little harder in all that he does.  He is my peace maker.  Always happy...loving life...and thinking of others.  His friendliness and outgoing personality sometimes scare me as I worry about his acceptance from others...when it's not even a thought in his mind.  His love has no limits and his forgiveness is easily given when others have hurt him.

Awhile ago I read this statement on facebook "We will spend eternity knowing our children as adults. But today, right here, right now, and for the few precious years, we have the rare privilege of knowing them as a child."  It hit me hard.  These moments are precious.  They don't last forever.  And they will be over before we know it.

As I watched my children this week my heart was full.  The happiness that these two little boys bring into my life exceeds the dreams I had for motherhood.  I could never have imagined how rewarding this time and experience would be.  As I comforted Ryker after losing a race this week and when I picked Maguire up from school after leaving him crying...I was so very thankful that I was the person that got to be there with them in those moments.  I was needed by these boys and it was my love and attention that they were seeking. 

How very blessed I am that after countless years of waiting I was given the opportunity to be a mother. It wasn't how I had thought my life should go, but I know that it has been a better plan for me.

I love you most my sweet little boys.

xox

Happy National Adoption Month

I had a few moments so I wanted to share a simple thought at the beginning of this special month.

This month is special not only because it's the first day of national adoption month, but also because it's almost been 6 years since our sweet Ryker was born!!  Hard to believe how big he's getting!  But I can still remember perfectly the snowy November day when Cody and I got to be with our birth mom during an ultrasound!!  It was amazing to be a part of that moment.  Seeing Ryker really for the first time in an ultrasound (he had curly hair!).  We have the BEST birth mom!!!  Seriously!!  She let us be a part of sooo many special moments and events that I truly feel so blessed.

I know that adoption is a special blessing for not only us...adoptive couples, but birth moms and families...these precious babies bring a sweet spirit into this world of love, faith and the reminder of a watchful Heavenly Father who has a plan for each of us.  His loves makes miracles happen and I'm so very very thankful!

K

xo

A little list.

I guess when we go through a certain trial...or experience something in our lives we tend to be drawn to that experience in some way.  As I watched the movie "Tarzan" this past weekend with my boys I immediately started thinking about how this story teaches about the love of adoption (maybe in an extreme and unbelievable way, but still there is a lesson to learn).  I started to think about all the movies that come into our home that tell a story about either adoption, foster care, abandonment....etc.  In my mind I was kind of listing some of the ones I've seen or my kids watch and started to realize that there are quite a few.  Looking around on the internet there is a lot of controversy about this.  In my own opinion...I usually love the stories that are told.  I don't feel that I should not allow my kids to watch certain "Disney" movies just because it talks about adoption because it's a real part of our lives.  Ryker doesn't fully understand what it means, but he's starting to ask questions and is figuring it out slowly.  It's part of him and part of our family...and that  is special to us.

So...since it's national adoption month I thought it might be fun to list a few movies that related to adoption.  Feel free to add to my list in the comments cause I would love more suggestions!

Juno
Despicable Me
Meet the Robinsons
Annie
Anne of Green Gables
Stuart Little
Tarzan
The Blind Side
Losing Isaiah
Tangled (because she is taken and raised by Mother Gothel)
Miss Spider's Sunny Patch (is that what it's called??)
The Rescuers
Kung Fu Panda...and the second one


Okay...I know there must be lots more, but for some reason I just can't think of them.  Quite a few though :)

(found this old picture of Ryker...he's probably 2 almost 3!  Such a funny kid!!)

K

supporting adoption

One night...again many years ago, Cody and I stopped at Wendy's quickly for something to eat.  As I looked down at our tray of food I remember the paper liner was advertising this.  Again it was another adoption moment for me that really stuck when I was looking for answers.  Here it was again right in front of me.  If you look at their site there are so many resources and lots of information supporting adoption!  It makes me feel good when we stop and get food for our kids knowing that some of that money (even if it is a small part) will go towards supporting adoption!!


K :)

National Adoption Awareness Month

Many years ago...driving to work I saw a banner strung across a bridge.  There was only one word "adoption" but it meant so much to me.  It pushed me to seek out answers in my life that I needed to find and move forward.  It's amazing what a word can do...how it can influence your life.

And then last night I sat in front of the computer watching video clips of this sweet little boys birth.  So many emotions and memories came flooding back as I watched.  Without that one word he may never have come into my life.  How thankful I am for a girl who was guided by that same word.  That made a difficult decision and had an incredible amount of love for an unborn baby.  I am so thankful every day for her and love her so much.

This year I want to take part in this challenge.  I want to make an extra effort to write more about adoption...how it's influenced me...and what it means to me.  It's important.  

This little boy is now almost 5 and has started asking more about his birth.  It's always been something we've been open about with him, but now he is starting to understand a little bit more about what adoption really means.  It's tough for a little boy to really understand his own story.  It's been awhile since he's seen his birth movie, so maybe we'll have to sit down and watch it with him this week.  Don't all kids just love seeing themselves as babies!!

This month is special to me.

K :)

something beautiful.

Last night I opened a message from our birth mom and found a link she had sent to this.  I have followed Lindsey's blog a bit, but honestly hadn't looked at it for awhile.  Her message and personal experiences are amazing.  I of course was crying because her message is so close to my heart.  I understand what it's like to be told you'll never have children...to feel completely broken and devastated.  When I first heard the news from our doctor I was at work.  Cody had an appointment that he went to by himself and called me afterwards.  At first I remember being in complete shock and even laughing as I listened to Cody tell me about what the doctor had told him.  I was just so stunned and those words "you have a better chance of winning the lottery 5 times" kept ringing through my head.  Once I let it settle in a bit I remember just crying and calling family and friends for support.  

Now looking back on something that seemed to be the end of the world I am amazed to see how blessed I have been.  I could never have known what was in store for me.  Never.

Lindsey says "But I think the Lord has asked us and expects us to take the trials we are given and turn them into something beautiful."

Love that.

K :)

Reflecting.

It's Novemeber...(I guess really it's almost over) but that means it's National Adoption Month.  A month that has had a big impact on my life.  Many years ago it was a November day like any other around here when I saw a BIG yellow sign tied to a bridge I was driving under.  There was only one word on the sign...'Adoption'.  That sign really stuck with me for many reasons.  It was one of the seeds that were planted in my soul that kept me thinking that adoption was right for us.  It only took one brief look at the sign, but it changed my life.  At the time I had no idea it was there because of National Adoption Month, but ever since I have watched for them as I drive during this month.  

If you remember this post or this post you will remember I've shared my feelings about this month before, but it really was a time when my life would be changed forever.  I was trying to remember today if it was October or November when we got to go to an ultrasound with our birth mom!  I will never forget that incredible moment (obviously just the date...haha!) but seriously I was soooo incredibly happy!  I was busy preparing for this miracle baby to come into our lives.  And look at him now....

Okay he actually has a lot less hair now, but look how big he's getting!!  He's almost 4!!!  Really??!!  He's counting the days down until his birthday...and I'm crying inside thinking about how old he is.  It's actually humorous that he's winking in this picture since we were just at the eye doctor this week because of that very reason.  I tell ya getting his hair cut has completely thrown him off.  He's been going through some major identity crisis and we're working through it.  He doesn't do well with change, but I never thought getting his hair cut off would be this hard on him.  He's been throwing major tantrums and crying over everything.  And then he developed this 'one eyed blink.'  I was quite worried that maybe his eyes were bothering him or he couldn't see...or something was wrong.  So we went to the optometrist this week and apparently his eyes are great!  He's just developed a nervous habit.  hmm...change is hard.

I love love love this boy!  He is the busiest little thing, but he keeps me going.  He's full of life and loves to laugh and is always saying the best things.  Last week after my shower I came out of the bathroom in comfy clothes and my hair was all wet...no makeup...and Ryker looks up from watching his show and says "you look gorgeous mom!"  haha!!  That's been his word lately.  Gorgeous!  Today when I asked him about his favorite color he said "purple and pink!"  He makes his daddy proud!  haha!!  He loves baseball and apparently can serve the volleyball really good!  His favorite car is "The King" and it kills me every...single...time it gets misplaced.  It has to be the clean Dinoco because we also have the beaten up Dinoco and he's just not goo enough to play with.  haha!  He's such a smart little boy and is really interested in spelling.  He's always asking us to spell words for him...it's one of those cute yet annoying things when he just won't stop asking.  He loves snacks and smoothies and asks all day long for "a snack and a drink!"  I just love him so much.

I am so blessed to be his mom!  And it was a small part because of a little yellow sign!

K :)

p.s.  I also couldn't post about adoption without saying how amazing Ryker's birth mom is!!  We love you!!!

I could have missed this...

We are wishing for summer weather.  The sunny days every so often just aren't enough for us....

Last week (or is that two weeks ago already...it could even be longer than that...) we had such nice weather and played outside all day long.  Ryker was asking me to take a picture of him holding Maguire.  You can see how well that worked out...haha!!  Maguire wasn't too sure about it.  But any chance I can get Ryker to sit for a picture is great.  It doesn't happen too often.  I'm actually so thankful he asked for these pictures cause it's just one more moment in time that's been captured of these kiddies.  They're just never going to be this little again....





This is totally the face Maguire gives us all the time.  It makes me laugh.  And look at all those teeth he's finally getting :)







In two weeks he'll be turning 1...it's really hard to believe.  I've thought back a lot over this year about the miracle this little guy has been...remember this post?  In my wildest dreams I never thought he would be here with us...and now he's almost 1.  Crazy!!



Don't you just love that sweet little face??!!!


And this boy is another one of the miracles in our lives.  I don't think there is a day that goes by that I don't thank my Heavenly Father for bringing him into our lives (you can read more here).



He really is the funniest kid I know.  And as busy as he can be I can't help but laugh and smile at that cute little face.




umm...his hair is getting way too long.  He informs me everyday that it is short, but I keep telling him that he has the longest hair in our family and we should cut it.  He's not convinced yet...haha!!  I'm not sure he would know who he was if it was cut short.  Okay...really lets face it.  I'm not ready to cut his cute hair all off.  Poor Maguire...he needs a hair cut too.  This momma just can't seem to let her babies grow up.





I'm soooo glad I got these pictures of my boys.  This should teach me to get my camera out more often.



Isn't that the sweetest smile??


I love my boys :)


K