In life there are rewards...when you do something good, or accomplish something new. It's just how it is. We however have never been ones for charts and stickers and rewards. When it was time to potty train Ryker just caught on. and for anything else I never seemed to need it....UNTIL NOW. haha!
When he started to go to preschool in January every week when I picked him up he would be crying. And it was ALWAYS because he hadn't gotten his stamp at the end of the day. The teachers said to me one day "he just isn't getting it...that he has to be good to get a stamp! It's like something just isn't registering...." Well I could have gone into great detail what I thought about that...but I chose to respond by telling them that we don't parent that way and bite my tongue at that.
Now a few weeks later I decided that maybe we should try doing a little chart. It seems like we had too many expectations, but I wanted to focus on bedtime routine and Cody wanted to focus on having Ryker help clean up his toys. So we combined them into one. I knew that the preschool method wasn't working...he needed instant rewards. So he earned one sticker when he helped clean up his toys at the end of the day and got to put his sticker up right away. He loved it! And then he could earn another sticker for bedtime by staying in his bed. He actually did great! Some days were harder, but I tried not to be so sticky with the rules. If I felt that he made a great effort than he got a sticker. I didn't make it so black and white (which I can be sometimes...haha). Ryker is a child who has energy and sometimes has a hard time controlling himself. With bedtime we used to always lay with him which we have been working on and so he sometimes came out for "one more kiss!" We always would give him one chance, but if it was unreasonable than of course he didn't get the sticker.
And a chart couldn't be a chart without being a little bit cute! haha!! I just printed off the house of 3 calendar and let him stick his stickers wherever he wanted. It stayed on his bedroom door and then the reward...was the new Numbers Ahoy movie by Leap Frog. Ryker love love loves all these movies. So it was an easy reward. I knew he'd work hard to get it.
Today was the day he finally earned all his stickers!! He woke up so happy!! It was super cute listening to him express his excitement.
There was definite progress :)
K
3 comments:
Kim I agree with you 100%. I think sometimes we have to praise our kiddos for the little things even if they "aren't getting it". It reminds me of a story that president monson(?) told about how in primary one teacher always asked him to come up to the front and fold his arms and show the others how to be reverent because he was so good at it. It wasnt until years later that she told him it was because he needed the most help. If he doesnt get that stamp, he doesn't know how good it feels to get that stamp. He WILL get it with love and praise. Not from withdrawal.
Nothing beats feeling the success of parenting! I am so glad that you found something that works well for Ryker.
I find that kids who really do well with structure and routine in their lives do so well with reward systems like this.......they know what is expected of them and get the instant satisfaction of a job well done! Good call on just focusing on a few things you want improvement on instead of making it overwhleming and ultimately a failure.
Can I just say you are the best mom ever! I need to follow through more on things like this! Such a cute idea! and I think Masen and Ryker are cut from the same mold! I really need to do something like this so there are way more positives than negatives! Its so hard sometimes but you are awesome!! Lucky little boys to have you!
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